Haylee Anne Photo

The noises in my head say PLEASE, BE QUIET. 

Limbo graduation game. 

I’ve been experience so many high highs, and low low’s lately. I am getting into shows, I’ve been working, I’ve been in talks with some pretty cool projects for the future. But, I honestly feel like I’m hitting a big low. I haven’t made work in months. The sooner I get to Georgia, I can remedy that. Yet, I am so frustrated!! I have so many ideas, too many, and I don’t know where to start.

However, I am distracting myself with my work and ideas. Distracting from the pain, from my illness. I hate that it’s hard to wake up in the morning. I hate that sometimes my legs jam up and I have to waddle. And, I don’t like New York, don’t like Brooklyn, it only adds to my stress.

A lot of times, I don’t know how to juggle my feelings and cares for the two- my work and illness. I am trying! But some days, I’m only focused on doctors, and other days I am a non-stop fountain of art and ideas. Sketching, considering, but feeling SO stagnant because my hands aren’t moving.

One thing I am struggling with is my continuation with the 21st Century Feminist. I’ve talked previously about how the project is on indefinite hiatus. I just don’t have the means to make the images right now- studio, lighting, etc. But when I am able- and when will that be?- what do I do? Where do I pick up? I am enamored with some of the ideas that made it into the current final set. Sometimes I feel like I should use those ideas on different ladies, hone down to specific problems, and make an overwhelming amount of similar images.

But, for now, I know that as soon as I establish some kind of studio space in Georgia, I am going to make a ton of images for Memories Lost. I have the negatives ready, I just need….everything else. And I’m going to get new doctors, and a stable job, and hopefully some pie, if I’m lucky.

Okay that’s all my art whining for now see ya later have a nice day don’t let the door hit you on your way outafjidjklaghrjkleui;w.